Letter To My Little Sister In Heaven

Hi everyone this is your girl Tashnee.V.Mavee

Dear Ruth

My sister, it’s almost  10 years that u passed away, but it still seems like yesterday to me. Some days are better than others, but today is the day you left me. As I sit here, I can’t stop the tears from falling down my face. I miss you so very much. I just want you to know that you always were and will always be apart of me.

I blame myself for your death, I should have not let you go that morning. I knew when you’re leaving the house that you are not going to return back to us. But I guess I didn’t want to believe it was true. I saw your death but I did nothing to stop it. My visions we’re very clear, when you asked for my jacket and I denied to give it to you, I thought am going to protect you by not giving up the jacket, because I used to see you wearing my jacket on my visions when you met your death. I guess, I was wrong. Maybe I should have given you my jacket, just maybe you’ll be still alive.

Now your gone and left me, each day passes I ask myself one question, why didn’t l give you my jacket that faithful morning. You asked me for a favour, a little one but I denied you that favour, I still remember what u said to me on that day.

Ruth: Sister please borrow me your jacket,

Me: No if I give you this jacket I know deep down my heart it won’t return.

Ruth: But Sister this is the last favour you will do for me and I will never bother you again, you will see.

Me: I said no and I know why am saying this please respect my decision, stop bothering me am sleeping.

Ruth: you don’t want to borrow me your jacket and you don’t want to look at me, you’re seeing me for the last time, so u rather wake up and say goodbye to me. And always show my daughter my pictures and tell her how much I loved her.

Me: I really don’t understand why your saying all this words, you’re not going to stay forever were you are going. It’s only three months. So stopping talking like your going to stay forever were you are going.

Ruth: One day you will understand and please protect her as your own, I am giving you my child cause u already spoiled her, keep on doing things for her like you always do. And tell mom and dad I love them. I will see you when we next meet, bye big sis.

Those were your last words to me, I knew what you meant by those word you said to me, but I was in denial, you saw your timely death. I regret my action. I should have provided you with my jacket. A sisters love is something I was blessed to have. Sisters bond is so strong, that not even in death can it be broken. Your my and guardian angel.

You left us so quickly and unexpectedly
We still had a lot of things we needed to do together. I wish I could call you,
just to talk and laugh with you
You were my shoulder to cry on, my advisor, my best friend. But most of all, you were and still are My Little Sister.
Not a day goes by that I don’t think of you and expect you to come to see me.
I miss you more each day and I Love You now and forever.

Your daughter is a big girl now, she is beautiful and intelligent, she sometimes look at your pictures and cry. I know she wish you were alive. I give her everything a child could ask from her mother. But nevertheless if it was from you it will be much more better. She calls me mom and calls my husband dad.

Last year she lost her father and that made her to break down a bit. Even though her real father did not bother to support the child when you were gone, he still remains her father. The last time I saw him it was 2008 on her birthday, one year after your departure in this world. Until I saw him last year not breathing. When his mother called me to tell her daughter that his no more.

I was angry I wanted to tell him my mind, I wanted to ask him why did he bring a child to this world and he does not even know what she eat or if she have a roof on top of her head. Your daughter always asked me, why the father hated her so much that he didn’t bother to see her or send money across to her. She even told me that, the last time he talked to her before he was killed, he said if she was a boy he would have loved her more.

 I am  so angry at him and I would never forgive him, because he left a big wound to my daughter’s heart, after I suffered to convince her that he loved her, he was just only ashamed to come and visit because he didn’t have money to give to her. I know I lied to her by saying that because I wanted to protect his reputation. But he went and told her that he loved her less. Just because few years later he had to sons. If you see him tell him I will never forgive him. Maybe someday I will try to forget and forgive. But for now I can’t.

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If wishes could come true, I  would have exchanged my life for yours. If tears could bring you back, I would cry every day.  But God knows why he called you so early, I can’t question his decision towards your life. I only wish you could have stayed a little bit longer. Especially for your daughter, but don’t worry she is in the safe hands. Were always here for each other, now that you have gone to live with our Lord. I know you are better off, but my heart misses you terribly. I love you so much, my your soul rest in perfect peace.

Your loving sister, Victoria

34 Comments Add yours

  1. heatherjo86 says:

    I am so sorry for your loss. One day soon we will see our loved ones again in Paradise (Luke 23:43, Acts 24:15) and we will never have to worry about losing our loved ones again (Revelation 21:4). Until you are reunited with your sister, may God provide you with comfort and strength (2 Corinthians 1:3,4). I recently just lost my dear grandmother and the information in this article brought me much comfort. https://www.jw.org/en/publications/books/good-news-from-god/what-hope-for-the-dead/#?insight%5Bsearch_id%5D=b270dee7-f477-4578-b09e-28439f226ad4&insight%5Bsearch_result_index%5D=1

    Liked by 1 person

  2. heatherjo86 says:

    I am so sorry for your loss. I know you will see your sister again in Paradise (Luke 23:43, Acts 24:15). One day soon we will never have to worry about losing our loved ones in death (Revelation 21:4). I recently lost my dear grandmother and the information in this article brought me much comfort. May God provide you with strength and comfort until you two are reunited.
    https://www.jw.org/en/publications/books/good-news-from-god/what-hope-for-the-dead/#?insight%5Bsearch_id%5D=b270dee7-f477-4578-b09e-28439f226ad4&insight%5Bsearch_result_index%5D=1

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Amen, and I am so sorry about your loss. May your grandmother’s soul rest in peace

      Like

  3. So moving. Love your words! I lost my sister to breast cancer a few months ago and the tears just keep coming. Praying for you. Remember that she is in heaven smiling at you, guiding you forever. She is your angel for life. Check out my blog. We have lots in common.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I am very sorry for your loss, may your sisters soul rest in perfect peace. And thanks a lot for your prayers and wonderful words may God bless you . Definitely I will check your blog thanks for stopping by

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Hi Tashnee,

    This made me cry! So sorry for the loss of your sister. I felt the same when my mom passed away as I felt I lost not just a mother, but I lost my best friend. Very powerful post and excellent share. OH, thanks for visiting my blogs. I appreciate the visit and support XOXO

    Author, Catherine Lyon 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Your welcome Catherine, and am very sorry you lost your mom, I can feel the pain your going through but God knows the best. May their souls rest in peace. Thanks a lot for your visit too .

      Liked by 1 person

  5. myliron says:

    Wow your story was so touching I was literally tearing up reading it. I have never lost anyone close but just the thought of losing my best friends or sisters makes me feel very emotional and teary. I pray and hope that with every single day you can learn to forgive yourself with your sisters death knowing and trusting that nothing happens to us acidentally that God doesn’t know about or have control over .Praying for you and your family.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. myliron says:

        Boo worries💖

        Liked by 1 person

  6. That policy, was suppose to be clothes

    Like

  7. motgpr2014 says:

    Wow, its way past my bedtime. I stumbled across this post. I almost stop reading because I wasn’t sure what would enter my spirit. Bless you. This is so touching. I pray that God comforts you. I pray that you can forgive the father for what he did & didn’t do. Forgiveness is for you. He’s gone so you need to be FREE from that bondage. Forgive yourself for not loaning your jacket to your sister. No one can predict the future. Yes, I believe she knew what was going to happen. I honestly do, but your sister wouldn’t want you to suffer. You need to release her & forgive yourself. I’m praying for you. 🙌💟 praying for my peace too.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks alot dear, my eyes are filled with tears reading this message. Thanks for the words of encouragement. I will try my best to let peace rain and move on.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. motgpr2014 says:

        You’re most welcome. I’m happy I happened upon your post last night. I shared it with my hubby at 2 am 😁 I prayed for you. Trust me, forgiveness will set you free. A simple, “I forgive you…for…” a huge load will be lifted and you will be blessed. I wouldn’t want you to miss out on what God has in store for you. I’ve had to forgive a whole lot in my lifetime. I’m taking major hurts. I’m glad I did because my life is the happiest. I don’t hold grudges or anger. I’m FREE. 💟 you never know who God sends your way. Maybe that me today. He is concerned and he loves you. Be blessed.

        Liked by 2 people

      2. The minute I read your message, I was in church. I normally don’t open my phone in church especially to check messages, but today something was pushing me to open my blog and I stumbled on your comment, the moment I read it tears came to my face and I prayed and I asked God to forgive me and I forgive the father of my niece and I forgive myself. Today it was my first day in church cause I just moved into this country last week. Many things happened to me to day trying to stop me not going to church but I told the devil that your a liar to church I would go. Even though the girl who was suppose to take me the her phone just went off and I don’t know myself around , rain came and I didn’t have umbrella policy became wet but I kept on saying devil to church I must go even though I will get there the pastor closing service atleast I will know I defeated you. After few minutes my sister called me and told me they broke to my brother’s house and robbed him. And I was now confused and I tried to go back home and suddenly my phone rang when I was about to give up . It was a boy on the phone telling me that the girl asked him to pick me up and take me to church. On the way to church the gal called and said we must pic her up when we got there she was relaxing doing the her and I said to them we are already one hour late . But I could see that they did not want to go anymore and they said church will be out when we get there .So I told them that I don’t care but to church I must go even though u can direct me, I will find my way. So they divided we go , we got there 40 minutes before the church end. After I seated that’s how i saw your comment. And I was puzzled. Know this message u sent me now it is really a confirmation that God sent you to me. Am greatful and thank you for praying for me. I will be happy if you continue putting me and my family in prayers the devil want to claim what does not belong to him in my family.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. God bless you and your family

        Like

  8. DelBlogger says:

    If tears could build a stairway to heaven we would both have our sisters back. God bless you sis!

    Liked by 2 people

  9. Please take heart May her soul rest in peace. I share in your pain.

    Liked by 2 people

  10. Swati Awana says:

    May God give you all the strength you need dear. Don’t worry your sister is at peace and always protecting you. I understand your pain. It’s a scar which you will carry all your life. But you will learn to live with it. Nothing can replace the live of your sister.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks alot dear, I do appreciate.

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Veronica M. says:

    Awwww girl I’m sending you love and prayers…reading this really struck an emotional cord in my heart because I lost my own little sister seven years ago and I feel your pain.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks alot dear, and am sorry for your loss. May your sisters soul rest in perfect peace.

      Liked by 1 person

  12. This is really beautiful. I send you a piece of my heart in empathy towards your raw emotions regarding the father. When you describe your anger I felt a bit angry too. I could relate to this piece in so many ways.

    My biological dad and I have an awkward relationship and he never said it to me before however I always wondered if I were a boy would he be more comfortable with having a personal convo with me. Because his more different with my boy cousins. If He had said something to me it would have crushed me more.

    Its already difficult enough being a girl and I share your frustration. My step dad showed me honesty and emotion. I learned through him a man can be vulnerable. I know that your little girl will view life through you and your husband eyes differently. Things she would have rather not view in the same light otherwise.

    There is an opportunity for her to flourish into the powerful woman she is destined to be. When she is older she will realize that he never knew any better. Perhaps he wasnt taught to honor a woman in the most respectful blame. This shouldn’t excuse his actions but will enable her to view men in a hopeful light.

    I pray that those words wont live within her negatively. That she will live to prove the nay sayers wrong and embrace the beauty that womanity possess. I Thank you for honoring your sisters life and keeping your blogs 100.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks alot dear, for your beautiful words, I just want the best for her. I wish I could forgive my niece father but, I know how many times I begged him just to come an see his daughter with or without money. Atleast to feel the love of a parent but he choose not too.

      And I want you know that your not a mistake in this world, God was not sleeping when he decided to make you a women, you must show your father that, what a man can do, a women can do it also. I am glad you’re step dad showed you love, but don’t hate your father for not giving you attention, he is your father and he will always be your father. One day sit him down and ask him if your not worthy to be called his daughter, you will see after talking to him maybe you will feel better knowing why he behave the way he does towards you.No matter the answer will be from him take it in good faith.

      And always remember that your special and God loves you.

      Liked by 2 people

  13. May such occurrence never surface to anyone of us again, in Jesus’ name. Amen! One day is going to be like a hundred to us. With long life and prosperity, God shall bestow on us.

    Liked by 2 people

      1. You are welcome! Do have a nice time and enjoy the rest of your days!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Thank you Peter same to you

        Liked by 1 person

      3. You are welcome!

        Liked by 1 person

  14. Be strong dear, I understand how you feel. 12/7/01 I lost my younger sister, its 16 years today. May God continue to rest their soul.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Amen dear, may your younger sister soul rest in peace

      Like

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